Recently I read an article about the current generation of mothers who are no longer striving to be perfect. These so called ‘perfectly imperfect’ mums are happy to do their best and cut themselves some slack. Thank fuck for those mothers. I am one of those mothers.
Anyone with kids will tell you that having children is bloody hard work. Its definitely something you take into consideration before you get pregnant, but nothing can quite prepare you for the absolute lifestyle shock.
So every now and then we need time to ourselves. Time with our partners and time to just be you. No children hanging off your trousers, watching you on the toilet or trying to stick their tiny dribble-soaked fingers in the one plug socket in the house that doesn’t have a safety cover. The truth is, that even as Mums, we need to let our hair down once in a while!
The problem is, this heart-wrenching bond you have with your child and your need to be near them. So even when you’re ready to pull your hair out, ready to give them anyway to just about anyone – why is it so hard to leave them? They will be fine without you. Your parents, sister, brother, babysitter have it covered. They know your number, the bed time schedule, how much they will need to eat and that they can’t sleep without their favourite blankie.
So what was I saying earlier? Having a baby changes you. It is a love like no other and your purpose on earth is to care for, love and protect your child. Just remember, take time for you. It took me a long time to find myself again after having Darcy. A part of me was lost and I was a stranger in my own body. But small moments, was all I had, where I felt like my own person again. Just simple things really, like a bubble bath or, reading a chapter of a book. And as I grew more confident in leaving her with family, I was able to go out. Joe and I rekindled our love over date nights at fancy restaurants, cocktails at local bars and recently watched the fireworks together and cuddled up close. I could join new friends and old, for nights out and a few drinks. I even relish in the odd cigarette. The odd shopping spree. The odd glass of whiskey.
Its so important to take some time away from your children. Even five minutes to recoup can make the world of difference! As babies they will not remember every day and every little thing you did together, so take the opportunity to feel like yourself again, and give yourself a well-deserved break. The guilt of leaving them will fade, eventually.
Now my little girl is fast asleep, its time for a hot cup of tea and a bit of Poldark. See – just the little things!
(Darcy is still the greatest thing that ever happened to us – even though we need a break sometimes!)